eu me sinto assim as vezes...

Bless up StaR**
Body:
Hail up Star~~ Yes my real name is XXX. It was given to me at birth by my parents. The meaning is "crown jewel" it is from India. Many people always ask about my name. ;-) well after listening to your story...i would have to say.... "just be here now". Do you understand that? Wherever you are in your heart...be there. If you are happy...hold on to that. If you love Igor...LOVE him. If that means...loving only as a friend....that is fine. I'm sure you want more...but you know you cant force anything...if you expect a beautiful finish right? So just LOVE him Ari. I'm happy for you! it sounds as if you are on the right path. (i cant wait until someone is saying those words to me...hahaha). I'm sooo fucking tired of playing games with girls! I give up. hahaha You know I'm gonna tell you something...but PLEASE dont tell anyone. I have NEVER told anyone this in my entire life.... that many times i wish i was dead. I would just stop and die...except for my family...especially my daughter. I get soo upset because i feel that people dont understand me. They see the surface...happy...popular..cool..whatever. They have NO idea that behind all that is a child that weeps himself to sleep. Its so fucking deep Ari its near impossible to explain. But ultimately...i feel that i give my 100% every single time. I do NOT lie cheat or steal,,...ever. I always do whats right...especially when there is nobody there to witness it. I love my neighbor as myself...i love my enemies and hope that one day we can become friends. (actually i have no enemies). BUt you know what i mean. I have no idea why i'm telling you this. Maybe "because" you "are" a "stranger". ????? Well i will never kill myself, because i have lost some REALLY close friends to suicide. And that was so sad and hard for me...i could never do that to my friends either. Anyway...its just stupid. But for some reason..i still think about it...wierd eh? well here i am going on and on and on hahaha. Hey Ari...you are a good person (i hope) ...follow your heart. Nuff love XXX